Diary - February 2012

29th February 2012

Its one year today at the new job that I wanted madly. Most things in life are over rated btw. Extensive traveling and various challenges that i never thought i would encounter. Life is good i guess! wats the point in moaning, who really is listening?!

28th February 2012

So Pakistan lands an Oscar! One more reason to believe that women folk will eventually lead the next generation. I am really happy for Chinoy and the progressive women folk she represents. These girls surely deserve better.

27th February 2012

and when you walk away, every second it rains, rains, rains......

26th February 2012
... again you search for what had gone wrong, realizing only after too long that it was not your fault. It was nobody's fault actually. Sometimes, feelings are gone. You finally are able to put the past behind you and forget, but sudden flashbacks and chanced-meetings reignite the dead flames and you wonder and you worry. Your heart is willing but your mind says no.


24th February 2012
Our lives are like bubbles in a small pool of water. Once in a while, and only a few times in our lives, someone or something comes along and splashes the water, dispersing the bubbles. Our lives are disturbed, our beliefs are shakened, some of our dreams die. However, the bubbles will come together again eventually, as we all recover from our pains and sorrows. And life goes on. But the shape of the original pool of bubbles will never again be the same.

23rd February 2012
The guard at the Islamabad hotel that looked into my eyes and said "Sahab, kya baat hai, khairiyat?" I salute you! Thank you for taking me out of my illusion and being my aid in the place that i used to love, but, now for me its just another place in the world. Isloo you are no longer special.


22nd February 2012
If you choose not to return, I will understand. Your absence will be of my own doing. But at the same time my existence will be utterly miserable without you by my side. I will shiver, for you are my warmth - I will be lonely, for you are my friend - I will be lost, for you are my guide. Everything good in me, no matter how small, you discover. I long to see your smile in the morning, to feel your touch in the evening. Please, return and grant me your forgiveness.


20th February 2012
Need to take a flight tomorrow that i am not really excited about. May be life afterall is just saying yes and nodding to orders from the above.


16th February 2012
You have made us proud. Your achievement calls for some massive celebration. You girls have continuously set higher standards for the junior lot to follow. Way to go and I am sure you will do amazingly well in the future. Remember as you enter this unkind corporate world, humility should be your virtue and a can do attitude your arsenal! You will come across bad days at this awesome place but you need to focus on the bigger picture. I am sure you will have a lot of pleasant surprises for everyone in the family in the future as well.


F, this one is for you! Wishing you nothing but the very best, always.

13th February 2012
Got the parcel just in time. This color changing object is really kool. I hope i am able to pull off this surprise effectively. Fingers crossed!!!

Clenched Soul

by Pablo Neruda

We have lost even this twilight.
No one saw us this evening hand in hand
while the blue night dropped on the world.

I have seen from my window
the fiesta of sunset in the distant mountain tops.

Sometimes a piece of sun
burned like a coin in my hand.

I remembered you with my soul clenched
in that sadness of mine that you know.

Where were you then?
Who else was there?
Saying what?
Why will the whole of love come on me suddenly
when I am sad and feel you are far away?

The book fell that always closed at twilight
and my blue sweater rolled like a hurt dog at my feet.

Always, always you recede through the evenings
toward the twilight erasing statues.

Little does she know!

She is silent across from me, yet I don't think she knows how much I actually love her. How much she means to me and that in every single second that passes my love grows stronger.


She sits across from me not knowing that an in instant I would gladly give my life for the preservation of her's... an instant. She smiles across from me and she does not know that before I draw my final breathe and gave out my last cry, I would wish to see the beauty of her face. She breathes before me and little does she know, that she takes my breathe away.

She thinks beside me and little does she know, I don't know what she is thinking but oh how I hope it's about me. She leaves the room to go get items from the store and little does she know I miss her beside me.

She speaks to me and little does she know how captivated I am and how I linger on every word she said. I type this without her knowing what it will read, and in doing so I realize that she does something to me no poet could explain, or no artist can display, I type this knowing that without her I only live for the moments when we are together and fight to survive for the moments we are apart.

I love her with my entire being, I would give anything for her and not think twice. I just want her to know that although things are not as they were before, the love I feel, the feelings I get, the actions I do will never change.

She walks back into the room and little does she know I can breathe.
 
 - Cross posted
 
Picture courtesy: Babar Photography

Noori-fied, literally....!

10 years is a long time! Loads can happen in such a span of time. A decade of association is too great an achievement when you see a continuous slide of long term relationships in our life. Any great relationship asks you to respect the differences and build upon shared values.

Last week marked one such for me. Music for me has to be the bestest invention that has graced the face of this planet. When you are happy you sing, when you are sad you want to try out your vocal chords and music is the natural way to subside nerves and tension.

Noori, a word that encompasses so much! You made me shout out by singing Sun kay mai hoon jawan and guided me to the dark world of peeli patti and raja jani. From giving me aarzoo to motivating me to saari raat jaga, from making me love the do-dil way to having me dance in ‘jhoom lay’ style. You boys did it all! From yeh jawani hai deewani to its gonna be a good night you made me realize that its kool to venture outside your comfort zone as well.

From the good, the bad and the ugly each of your songs was and is my companion! 10 years with you, one of the best decisions of my life that I have ever made!

I love you guys, literally! :)

Aaich!

I do!

Often defined as the loving sensitive soul that touches your life when you least expect it, someone who is looking out for you all the time, someone who makes you feel special and loved, someone who's naughtiness touches your heart, someone who is sarcastic and witty, someone who you want to be around forever, someone who hasn't been in your life for long but often leaves you wondering how you ever managed. 

A word so diverse, that if used as a verb can mean both are you pulling my leg or are you so loving that I cannot believe how lucky I am to have you in my life. 

The word when said out in it's true spirit has to come from the bottom of your heart. 

Many known variations of the word exist!

 - Cross posted.